remembering Payton.

Before you read on, know this:

This is a story of VICTORY.

This is a story that doesn’t end with death.

This is a story of POWER and LOVE and FAITHFULNESS

AND

RESURRECTION.

It’s hard to believe that it’s April 13 again. Why is it that while the minutes and hours and days often crawl by, the years seem to pass in mere blinks?

A few years back, April 13 found my family in painful tears trying to understand an unimaginable loss—it’s the day our sweet Payton slipped far too soon from this world to eternity.

For a long time, I struggled to understand Payton’s death in light of Romans 8:28—“And we know that in all things G works for the good of those who love Him…”

This I knew: my family, we LOVED G.

This I questioned: that G could work this tragedy out for good .

If I’m being honest, I still sometimes struggle with this. But over the years, I have seen this verse affirmed to my family time and time again:

through the godly way his parents, my aunt and uncle, grieved his loss and honored his memory.

through the lives of two little Haitian babes being brought up in a family abounding in love to know and serve and live for the King of Kings.

and through this:

The most powerful tool I have over here to accomplish what it is I’m here to do is my story—a testimony of G’s faithfulness to me, of my new life in him, of how me called me and the whole world out of darkness into marvelous light. In this, Payton came with me to the ends of the earth, as his little life is an vital part of my testimony.

Recently, I had the opportunity to share my story, from beginning to end, with a dear friend here. While I’ve known her for nearly two years, our friendship is finally at the point where it’s transparent, genuine. Her willingness to be vulnerable in our friendship is something I would have never imagined when I met her, but over the last 20 months, I’ve watched her heart soften and her mind open. I've watched her smile reappear and joy characterize her life. That day, we were eating lunch together and, as happens occasionally by divine appointment, an unmistakable opportunity to share truth was dropped in front of me.

Naturally, I took full advantage of the chance, which found me sharing my testimony—a story that speaks boldly of the undeserved working of the King of Kings in my life. I was very, very real with her about sin and struggles and healing and redemption and new life. Through tears, I told her about Payton’s death and the pain and questioning and hurt that followed. His story brought her to tears—I knew her heart was hurting for the pain that mine had felt. Weeping may last through the night, but JOY comes with the morning: I got to tell her THE GOOD NEWS: that while death happens because of sin, we serve a G who conquered death. So even though our precious Payton died, he lives for eternity in the welcoming arms of our King. I had the privilege of sharing with her the sacrifice that our King made for us by sending his son to die. But death is not the end! He conquered death by rising victorious from the grave, so that we can live. I told her about the hope that this gives us—the hope of eternity with Him. And that hope? I have it. My family has it. All because of His Son. I told her that hope is available to her, and that it’s free. FREE.

Romans 8:28 has been affirmed to me in this—Payton joins me in bringing our King to this land.

The legacy of this little boy is POWERFUL, as is his influence on countless lives still.

The same Savior that captured my heart, the same Savior who calls the little children unto himself, the same Savior whose name I will live to make famous, who took the nails for the nations, who conquered death by rising victorious from the grave; My G, my King, my Refuge, my Strength, my Sustainer and the Lifter of my Head—this Savior holds Payton for eternity.

Because of the love of this Savior, displayed powerfully and freely and for the whole world, I can confidently affirm this: And we know that in ALL THINGS, G works for the good of those who love Him.

Miss you, Little One! Your cousin loves you!